Listen up, you magnificent degenerate. If you’re doing EA trading, you’re already smarter than 99% of the candle-staring zombies out there. But intelligence doesn’t save you from stupidity. Even the laziest, most hands-off robot trader can still find creative ways to set his account on fire.

I present to you the 7 Deadly Sins of EA Trading – the fastest tickets straight to Forex Hell (population: your blown account). Commit one, and you’ll suffer. Commit three or more, and Satan himself will personally hand you a margin call engraved in gold.

Let’s confess, repent, and sin no more.

Sin #1 – Lust: Falling in Love with Backtests Hotter Than Porn

We’ve all been there. You open Myfxbook, see a 6-month equity curve smoother than a baby dolphin’s ass, 3000% return, 8% drawdown. Your pants get tight. You wire the $499 faster than a teenager buying OnlyFans.

Three weeks later in live trading it’s bleeding like a stuck pig. Why? Because that backtest was curve-fitted, over-optimized, or straight-up fake (or all three).

Redemption: Treat backtests like Instagram models – hot, but probably photoshopped. Demand at least 3 months verified LIVE results + a drawdown that doesn’t look like it was drawn by a Disney artist. If the vendor screams “trade secrets,” run.

Sin #2 – Gluttony: Running 17 EAs on One $500 Account

More bots = more money, right? Wrong. You’re not diversifying; you’re hosting a correlation orgy. One nasty news event and all 17 bots puke at the same time. Congratulations, you just turned a $500 account into a $37 revenge-trading fund.

Redemption: Max 3–5 uncorrelated EAs per account. One scalper, one trend-follower, maybe one carry-trade weirdo. Anything more and you’re just stress-testing your ulcer.

Sin #3 – Greed: “I’ll Just Bump Risk to 5% Per Trade, Bro”

The classic. “If 1% risk makes 12% a month, 5% will make me a millionaire by Christmas!” Narrator: Christmas came, but the only gift was a zero balance and a broker emailygram saying “Happy Holidays.”

Redemption: 1–2% max per trade. Forever. Tattoo it on your cat. Greed is the reason 90% of martingale users end up selling feet pics to fund their next deposit.

Sin #4 – Sloth: Set-It-and-Forget-It for Six Months Straight

You heard “semi-passive” and thought “zero effort.” So you went to Bali, drank coconut water, and came back to an account that looks like the surface of the moon.

Markets change, bro. Volatility dies, spreads widen, brokers turn evil, central banks go insane. Your EA from 2023 is now as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Redemption: Weekly 15-minute check-ins. Look at drawdown, news calendar, equity curve. Adjust or pause when needed. Semi-passive ≠ brain-dead.

Sin #5 – Wrath: Revenge-Tweaking Your EA After a Losing Streak

Your bot just had a -12% week. Instead of sipping a beer and letting statistics do their thing, you rage-code new parameters at 3 AM, crank up the lot size “to get it back,” and turn a normal drawdown into a fiery plane crash.

Redemption: Touch nothing when emotional. Walk away. Drink something strong. Come back in 48 hours. Your EA doesn’t have feelings – don’t give it yours.

Sin #6 – Envy: “That Guy on Telegram Made 400% This Month, I Want His Settings!”

You beg, you bribe, you finally get the “secret” .ex4 file. You load it up and… boom, account cremated in 72 hours. Turns out his magic settings were designed for a $100k account, not your $800 nano-lot tragedy.

Redemption: Never copy someone else’s settings blindly. What works on a prop account with 5ms latency and $1 commissions dies screaming on a shady offshore broker. Test everything on your own setup like a grown-up.

Sin #7 – Pride: “I Don’t Need a VPS, My Laptop Never Crashes”

Famous last words. Windows Update, power outage, cat walks across keyboard, mom calls on Skype – suddenly your EA is offline during the biggest move of the year. You miss 200 pips of profit or (worse) leave a position open into the weekend gap.

Redemption: $15–25/month for a New York/London VPS is the cheapest insurance you’ll ever buy. Stop being cheap and arrogant.

Bonus Circle of Hell – The Unforgivable Sin: No Trading Journal

You have no idea which EA makes money, which one’s the silent killer, or why your account looks like a heart-attack monitor. You’re flying blind with robots. That’s not trading; that’s expensive gambling with extra steps.

Keep a simple Google Sheet: EA name, pair, monthly return, max DD, notes. Takes 4 minutes a week. Do it or burn.

The Lazy Path to Salvation

1. Max 5 EA trading bots, uncorrelated
2. 1% risk per trade, always
3. VPS 24/7
4. Weekly 15-min check
5. Live results > backtest porn
6. Journal or journal
7. Never tweak angry

Follow this and you’ll dodge the seven flaming pits. Break them, and I’ll see you in the margin-call waiting room – it’s right next to the guy who still believes in 1000% monthly martingale bots.

Now go forth and sin no more, you glorious robot overlord.

Financial Disclaimer (The Slightly Heretical Version)

Nothing in this rant is financial advice – it’s just a sarcastic Frenchman with robots yelling at clouds. Forex can turn your life savings into a sad emoji faster than you can say “unexpected NFP.” Past performance is about as useful as a chocolate frying pan. I’m not your advisor, your priest, or your mom. Trade at your own risk, keep your lot sizes smaller than your ego, and if you blow up, don’t blame me – blame your inability to read this disclaimer properly. Aristide-Regal.com: where we automate profits and roast bad decisions. Amen. 🙏

More updates : https://www.aristide-regal.com/blog/ and https://x.com/Aristide_REGAL